Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Stress and Relaxation?

I’ve been finding it hard to blog lately. I’ve also been finding it hard to do a lot of things I’m used to. Guild leadership has really started taking its toll lately. When I became an officer, 2 others were promoted with me. Since that time 3 officers have retired one of which left the server. We lost one recruitment officer… and 2 raid leaders.

That leaves me as the sole raid leader. That means I have to organize and set up groups for 2-3 ICC 10 groups during the week and organize/lead the ICC 25 raids on the weekends. Four nights of progression raiding. Four nights of logging on to find: people not showing up, people signing up at the last second, having to tell extra people they aren’t needed, and having to balance out multiple raid, raid ID’s that run over multiple nights.

On top of that I’m expected to lead Tuesday night raid(s) as well for ToC, VoA, and the weekly raid. Tuesday night I’ve been able to get out of a lot lately due to the fact that my mother in-law is currently staying at my house (cuz that doesn’t add stress) and I told my wife and mother in-law that I was committing to wed/thurs, sat/sun for raid progression.

** Quick time out from the bitching… I really want to thank my wife for being understanding of my play time and hobby when it comes to raiding. We’ve come a long way from her nearly leaving me over my raiding habbits… to her tolerating me being a raid leader in the same guild I nearly lost her over. I love you so much!**

Dealing with people you just don’t like…

In addition to the stress of raiding is the stress of dealing people that I frankly, just can’t stand. There are 2 people in the guild currently that I honestly don’t think anyone likes. People that half the guild has on ignore and some who are flat out refusing to raid with these people. The thing is… they aren’t exactly breaking any rules. They are just annoying! They rub people the wrong way and their play style/attitude is non-conducive to bringing people together.

Every officer is at the point where we are vying for the job of G-kicking the person… but how can we? How do we kick someone who isn’t directly violating any of our rules just because we don’t like them? How does that portray our guild to outside players? Would that hurt the view of new recruits coming in? On the other hand it’s like a poisonous wound that is just slowly spreading through the guild. Is it better to cut off the arm if we can’t draw the poison? Rather than infect the entire guild?

There is also a growing complaint on the guild forums about raid’s getting delayed or people wanting to know days in advance if they have a spot or not… Our guild doesn’t run with constant set groups specifically because of the fact that we have a large number of unreliable people. These people are nice and fun to hang out with… and do a good job when they show up… but they don’t always show. I’m stuck setting up raid groups the day of the event due to the fact that I never know exactly who will show up till that day!

The ironic thing is a lot of the people who are demanding to know in advance… are the same people who cause us to have the problem in the first place.

Where’d my fun go?

Do to the stress of being an officer I find myself staying away from group activities in which I may have any kind of responsibility. I used to join pug raids all the time before becoming an officer… now a days I just can’t. I don’t run heroics for the same reason. That means most of my alts that still need emblems are stuck progression wise… I haven’t tanked anything on my DK for weeks. It almost seems like it is just PvE content in general I just can’t do anymore.

The only thing I find motivation and joy in is PvP. I love doing BG’s on my warrior because it is fun to steamroll stuff in the awesome gear that my warrior has… but to what end? The only progression my warrior has there is from arena. I’m only doing that once or twice a week if I’m lucky. Next to my warrior my paladin is in best shape and I absolutely love playing a holy paladin… but healing in a bg is so much fun when you do it with friends that you can support and don’t… suck. Kobeck is in much the same situation… which leaves him on his druid and me on my paladin both healing which is just weird and ineffective.

I do PvP on my hunter and rogue from time to time… but honestly that just kind of gets boring after awhile. Sometimes I’ll hop on my mage… but I’m terrible TERRIBLE as frost and just get frustrated. So I swapped my druid to balance and have been doing bg’s on him lately. My druid barely has any pve resto gear… yet alone PvP gear… so playing balance is like going into a tank fight with a rubber band as my only weapon. It is so laughably bad that it is fun. I’m getting the old feel back from BC and I’m brutally effective in the back of a demo in strand of the ancients…. But otherwise I die a lot and get to the point where I just need a break.

And so… without any other alts to really level… I take a break. We got Netflix and with the PS3 disc thingy I get to just plop down and throw on an action movie.

I’m starting to see why Nikkyo really just logs on these days to join raid and then log off. I still really like playing but most of the things I love to do have been jaded by having the responsibility of being a raid leader and officer. There really isn’t anyone else in the guild who I would trust to become an officer. I mean I trust Kobeck, Blanda and B2 with everything… but they are smarter than me and wouldn’t want the responsibility of becoming an officer. They’d rather just bitch to me… right guys? :P

Curinir who was one of the raid leaders… quit the guild and swapped servers to play with an old guild mate of ours… who plays in the alt guild of Elitest Jerks. He has been raving lately about how different things are and how great it is to be able to just log on and raid without any responsibility… and if you don’t do your job you don’t get invited back. So yeah… that isn’t demoralizing or anything. /envy

So yeah… when stress starts interrupting the relaxation of your hobby… what do you do?


Sougent said...

IMO, the only reason you need to kick the ones that no one likes is exactly that, no one likes them.

Personality conflict is a valid reason to send them on their way.

I would just tell them that they aren't fitting in with the rest of the group and that it would be in the guilds and their best interest to move on. Be nice, but say goodbye and just kick them.

As for the rest, don't put up with the stress, if the act of being a guild leader/officer isn't enjoyable, then stop, or make changes that will make it so for you.

Seems like a lot of people are blogging on this subject lately, it's a shame that what should be entertainment morphs into something less than pleasant.

What's my main Again? said...

I mean there definitely are parts of being an officer I enjoy. Last week killing putricide on 25 after I revised the strategy several times and finally found one that worked... that part I love. I just don't deal well with people and inevitably that is part of the job.

For the most part I like playing with all of them (there are notable exceptions) and having to make the choice to sit people... or listen to their problems. I guess the ideal situation would be to just step into a fully formed raid and take the reigns and run with it. That part I love. That I can do every day.

wds said...

Sounds like you need to learn to let go a bit. Trust other people to take the load off. Tell them you're having trouble with all the tasks your responsibilities include. People can surely take over some of the grunt work. If you're not happy due to all the stress involved, you'll eventually start doing a crappy job anyway.

If nobody steps forward to help, then maybe your guild consists of a bunch of freeloaders and you should start looking for greener pastures elsewhere.

Also, if someone doesn't understand they're part of the problem when it comes to scheduling regular raids, then it's pretty counter-productive to argue along without telling them so. I get that you don't want to be a dick and personal attacks are a definite no-no, but people do need to have all the facts to "get" it. There's no use tip-toeing around such issues.

Oh and throw out the toxic elements of your guild. It's like nuclear waste which ends up infecting everything around it.

Kobeck said...

wds brings up some good points I agree with.

Our guild is pretty interesting in terms of diversity. We have those who have no interest in raiding at all (although that population seems to be dwindling), those who are interested in raiding but lack the desire to dedicate time to it (growing population in this sector), and those who are great raiders who excel at everything they set their minds to in addition to taking personal responsibility (not many in this sector either). Of course, like all divisions there are shades of grey wherein people lie between these.

I wouldn't say the guild has a lot of freeloaders (although they exist, backseat officers really...), just a lot of people who are not qualified to lead others. I, for one, know my limitations as a person and it is unfathomable for me to be an officer because I do not deal well with large groups of people. I do, however offer my services as advice to those who ask for it.

All in all, he does need a break and we do need more qualified people to lead since those who at least had some grasp on it have left.

Least we can fail at arenas. Whee.

Anonymous said...

i would have a talk with the person, tell them they are making un-necessary stress for you as a leader. remind them raiding is a privilege not a right. you setup the raid rosters, bench them for a couple weeks the next time they cause strife. They can learn from the experience or they can /gquit.. either way you win.